In an effort to keep this blog fresh I will be trying something a little different in chapter three. I've been writing a lot more lately, making use of the square ruled moleskine from my first post to capture the urgency of a poem in the moment. I'm learning that if I don't write in the moment I don't write at all. I haven't taken myself seriously as a writer at all recently, and that is about to change.


The goal is to pump out a decent manuscript by the end of the year and a solid final draft soon thereafter. I'm not sure where the writing will take me or what direction the manuscript will end up going, but I know it will all take me somewhere if I'm consistent both in my risk and dedication. Any comments or suggestions on the forthcoming first drafts will be greatly appreciated. Here is one to get things rolling. Check back soon and often for updates.


All love

jay

When You Leave
for mh


I hide
in my room for days
don't change clothes
or sheets
don't speak
stare at my computer
for hours
Grey's Anatomy
season one
on repeat
until I finally fall asleep


this is how I grieve


I collect our photographs
one by one
pull them from frames
peel scotch tape off the backs
rub the fading adhesive
between my fingers
think nothing sticks
forever


I drop each one
into the fireplace
watch the flames dance and
devour them
I close my eyes
inhale the smoke
taste the bitterness
of loss


with my hands
I scoop the ashes into a small bucket
scatter them amidst fresh soil
part the damp earth with my fingers
plant a rose bush
water it as the sun sets
pray
the mixture will bring new blooms


this is how I begin a new life